My cousin Willie's former high school, B.R. Cyrus H.S., recently recognized him as a distinguished alumni based on his upcoming role in the Redneck Bachelor.
This award was particularly prestigious as Willie never completed high school. I'm told there was some misunderstanding regarding the principal's wife, the principal's car, the principal's house and the principal's garden gnomes...the rest is court sealed.
Cousin Willie tells me he'll put this award on the shelf next to his other scholastic award. In grade school he was voted "Most Likely to Die After Saying 'HEY, EVERYBODY, WATCH THIS!'"
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