This week's trip to the minor league hockey game, the Buford Bandits versus the Duluth Dynamos ended in the usual bench-clearing brawl. Perhaps this was a bad night for them to have a throw-back 1970's Pet Rock night. Just saying...
Not to be outdone, Willie threw both of his beers and his Pet Rocks onto the ice and attempted to join the fray by climbing over the protective plastic barrier.
Unfortunately his flannel shirt tail got caught on something and he was left hanging from the wall about two feet off of the ice. Undeterred, he began screaming and cursing at both team indiscriminately until they took notice. They elected to rename the evening to Pinata Night and took to Willie like a pack of frat guys on a free keg.
The remaining contestants, concerned that Willie might not be in any condition to continue the Red Neck Bachelor if he were dead, also stormed the ice.
Red neck chaos ensued.
The end result was three thousand dollars worth of damage to the arena, four players lost for the season, two ABC cameramen are still missing and Billie Sue was given the boot for lifting Willie's wallet while he was suspended over the ice. Fortunately she was only able to get as far with it as the attached chain allowed, but the real damage was done.
She was given the news in that evening's "gettin' dumped" ceremony. She took it with unusual restraint, departing with nothing more than a profanity-laced tirade and some broken beer bottles. Willie's truck had three flat tires the next morning, but that is believed to be a coincidence since it usually has two.
The week's honorary leather wrist strap went to Joolie for her participation in the hockey brawl. In addition to laying out one official with a blindside forearm shot to the head she also was the one who propped open the emergency exit door allowing the group to escape before the police arrived.
Next week: Roller derby!
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