It's about as strange as it sounds!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Cousin Willie's Fourth of July spectacular!
Cousin Willie shows us all how to celebrate one of his favorite holidays!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Oprah, Cousin Willie is the innerviewer extraordinaire fer you!
My name is Willie G. Bob, but everybody calls me Cousin Willie. I think I am uniquely qualified ta be the special host of yer new tee vee show.
I can get all the toughest guests and ask them all the questions everybody wanna hear. Like what's the quickest way ta get a warm beer ta drinkin' temperature? And if you was god which celebrity pain in the neck would you snuff out next?
Anyway, when ya wants ta hire me, just give a call ta Chuggie's House a Suds in Buford Ohio...they knows how ta reach me.
Rock on, Oprah Winfrey!
P.S. Are you still single? Jest askin' 'cause I've been known ta compromise my morals when needed. Jest wanted ta put that out there in case you needed a tie breaker er somethin'.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Art Appreciation Month continues...
With one of the finest Arts in television history:
Art Linkletter
Art Linkletter is probably not knowed to many a you, since he was born afore the dawn of true television. You know, with cable and all.
Anyway, Art was born in Moose Jaw, Canada, son ta the infamous Sasquatch. Ol' Sasquatch couldn't do a good job a raisin' no kids on account a all the chasin' around and copyright issues with Bigfoot.
So little Art was adopted to another set of folks who raised Art like he was they own. Once he overcame his fondness fer the taste a human flesh, things settled right down in the Linkletter household.
Art spent most of his life tryin' ta hide his shame at bein' born a Canadian. He spent countless hours practicin' not sayin "ay?" after every sentence, pretendin' Curlin' made any sense and actin' like Celine Dion ain't all that hot. Although she ain't bad ta look at I gots ta say.
Anyway, at a young age Art took to one a the newest forms a entertainment. Black and white TV. Unfortunately race conflict was a big problem back then and the black TV shows and the white TV shows, well they didn't get along too well.
Many people don't know this but fer the longest time the Jeffersons and Good Times couldn't stand ta be on the same network as Little House on the Prairie and the Waltons. The cultural divide between the urban black shows and the rural cracker shows was just too great.
That's where Art came in. His famous show Kids Say the Darndest Things was a hit with everybody! That's cause white TV kids and black TV kids...none of them don't know nothin' and theys always sayin' funny stuff! This was the shared cultural event that TV needed ta take the unifyin' step ta color television.
And all was right with the TV world, thanks ta Art Linkletter.
Rock On, Art Linkletter!
Art Linkletter
Anyway, Art was born in Moose Jaw, Canada, son ta the infamous Sasquatch. Ol' Sasquatch couldn't do a good job a raisin' no kids on account a all the chasin' around and copyright issues with Bigfoot.
So little Art was adopted to another set of folks who raised Art like he was they own. Once he overcame his fondness fer the taste a human flesh, things settled right down in the Linkletter household.
Art spent most of his life tryin' ta hide his shame at bein' born a Canadian. He spent countless hours practicin' not sayin "ay?" after every sentence, pretendin' Curlin' made any sense and actin' like Celine Dion ain't all that hot. Although she ain't bad ta look at I gots ta say.
Anyway, at a young age Art took to one a the newest forms a entertainment. Black and white TV. Unfortunately race conflict was a big problem back then and the black TV shows and the white TV shows, well they didn't get along too well.
Many people don't know this but fer the longest time the Jeffersons and Good Times couldn't stand ta be on the same network as Little House on the Prairie and the Waltons. The cultural divide between the urban black shows and the rural cracker shows was just too great.
That's where Art came in. His famous show Kids Say the Darndest Things was a hit with everybody! That's cause white TV kids and black TV kids...none of them don't know nothin' and theys always sayin' funny stuff! This was the shared cultural event that TV needed ta take the unifyin' step ta color television.
And all was right with the TV world, thanks ta Art Linkletter.
Rock On, Art Linkletter!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Art Appreciation Month continues...
Last week I kicked off Art Appreciation Month with a dazzling summary of the great Art LaFleur. It was met by rave reviews (you know who you are!)
This week I dives inta the music world with one a my favorite Arts:
Art Garfunkel
Art Garfunkel is part of one of the best singer-songwriter duos of all time. Along with Simon and the rest of the chipmunks Art owns a well-deserved place in music history.
Not many people truly understand the depth and complexity of Art and the Chipmunk's musical genius. Fortunately, I am here ta enlighten you.
The following is some a Art's best known songs and the amazing stories behind those songs:
Bridge Over Troubled Water - This ain't a story about some warshed up bridge. Uh uh. It's a metaphor fer somethin' er other. Metaphors are like when you try ta say somethin' without actually sayin' it. Kinda like when women wanna let you know that theys mad atcha.
Kathy's Song - Which was about some chick he was datin'. Unbeknowst ta him, she was sleepin' around with the rest a them chipmunks. Gotta keep a close eye on them ground rodents. They's frisky.
At the Zoo - Which details where Art found out about Kathy and the rest a them 'munks. I think the monkeys mighta told.
Mrs. Robinson - A song about Art's rebound fling with a married woman. Nobody's really certain who she is, but they's a lot of speculation that it was Robinson Crusoe's ol' lady. And that man got a temper. I guess if I was stuck on some deserted island with Gilligan and the rest a that bunch and then found out my ol' lady was sleepin' around with a guy what spends time with singin' chipmunks I'd be pretty mad, too. I try not ta judge.
Scarborough Fair/Canticle - Is a song about the damage what Art sustained when Mr. Robinson Crusoe found out about his wife and ol' Art. Notice that Canticle is in the singular 'cause that's all that poor Art got left with after Crusoe finished with him. Ouch.
El Condor Pasa - This here's a song about some big, undead, man-eatin' bird. I think it inspired Alfred Hitchcock to make that movie...what was it called...dang it I hate when I ferget movie names...Oh yeah! North By Northwest!
Anyways, the chipmunks soon gots too big fer they britches and decided they could make due without ol' Art.
This was a time a great despair fer Art. He spent most of it mopin' around and prank callin' people. He eventually snapped outta his funk by realizin' a dream he had held since he was a young 'un. To eat a meal at every McDonalds restaurant in the world! This quest gave new meanin' ta Art's life. Ya might say he was re-born as Modern Art. Well, someone needed ta say it.
Unfortunately by the time he finished up with all the McDonalds along the East Coast he weighed about 300 pounds and couldn't so much as stand the sight of another Big Mac or Filet o' Fish.
As fortune would have it, those dang chipmunks had run inta troubles of they own! Turns out the dumb thangs only live ta be like three. And the way Theodore was lettin' himself go, well the end was clearly near. Faced with impendin' death that comes with a heavy nut diet, the Chipmunks reunited with Art fer a big concert in Central Park, New York.
Today Art lives a quiet life, surrounded by his little kiddies and about eighty-five generations a chipmunks. Not a one a them can sing a lick.
Rock on, Art Garfunkel!
This week I dives inta the music world with one a my favorite Arts:
Art Garfunkel
Not many people truly understand the depth and complexity of Art and the Chipmunk's musical genius. Fortunately, I am here ta enlighten you.
The following is some a Art's best known songs and the amazing stories behind those songs:
Bridge Over Troubled Water - This ain't a story about some warshed up bridge. Uh uh. It's a metaphor fer somethin' er other. Metaphors are like when you try ta say somethin' without actually sayin' it. Kinda like when women wanna let you know that theys mad atcha.
Kathy's Song - Which was about some chick he was datin'. Unbeknowst ta him, she was sleepin' around with the rest a them chipmunks. Gotta keep a close eye on them ground rodents. They's frisky.
At the Zoo - Which details where Art found out about Kathy and the rest a them 'munks. I think the monkeys mighta told.
Mrs. Robinson - A song about Art's rebound fling with a married woman. Nobody's really certain who she is, but they's a lot of speculation that it was Robinson Crusoe's ol' lady. And that man got a temper. I guess if I was stuck on some deserted island with Gilligan and the rest a that bunch and then found out my ol' lady was sleepin' around with a guy what spends time with singin' chipmunks I'd be pretty mad, too. I try not ta judge.
Scarborough Fair/Canticle - Is a song about the damage what Art sustained when Mr. Robinson Crusoe found out about his wife and ol' Art. Notice that Canticle is in the singular 'cause that's all that poor Art got left with after Crusoe finished with him. Ouch.
El Condor Pasa - This here's a song about some big, undead, man-eatin' bird. I think it inspired Alfred Hitchcock to make that movie...what was it called...dang it I hate when I ferget movie names...Oh yeah! North By Northwest!
Anyways, the chipmunks soon gots too big fer they britches and decided they could make due without ol' Art.
This was a time a great despair fer Art. He spent most of it mopin' around and prank callin' people. He eventually snapped outta his funk by realizin' a dream he had held since he was a young 'un. To eat a meal at every McDonalds restaurant in the world! This quest gave new meanin' ta Art's life. Ya might say he was re-born as Modern Art. Well, someone needed ta say it.
Unfortunately by the time he finished up with all the McDonalds along the East Coast he weighed about 300 pounds and couldn't so much as stand the sight of another Big Mac or Filet o' Fish.
As fortune would have it, those dang chipmunks had run inta troubles of they own! Turns out the dumb thangs only live ta be like three. And the way Theodore was lettin' himself go, well the end was clearly near. Faced with impendin' death that comes with a heavy nut diet, the Chipmunks reunited with Art fer a big concert in Central Park, New York.
Today Art lives a quiet life, surrounded by his little kiddies and about eighty-five generations a chipmunks. Not a one a them can sing a lick.
Rock on, Art Garfunkel!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Art Appreciation Month Begins Now!
Some have said that this blog lacks culture. Well, I'd like to find out who said that and rip him a new one. But just to show how artsy-fartsy I can be, I have decided to kick off Art Appreciation Month in May on the RedNeck Bachelor Blog Site!
Now before you get all bored and see what disgusting stuff is showin' on YouTube, jest wait a ding-dang minute.
You know that I, Cousin Willie, would not bring somethin' like Art Appreciation Month to yer attention unless it was a jaw-droppin', knee-slappin, butt-kickin' good time...Am I right? Oh, you knows I'm right!
Okay then, let's get er started! I know it ain't May yet, but I'm so danged tickled ta get this thang goin' that I can't stand myself!
Who better ta start this thang off than the one and only:
Art LaFleur
What is there ta say about the world's busiest actor. Ol' Art has been in approximately eighty million feature films and television shows and chances are you don't even know his name. But I bet y'all recognize him.
Yup, this is Art LaFluer.
Over the years he has played dads and uncles and grandpas. He's played coaches and sergeants, CIA agents, henchmen, detectives, wardens and neighbors.
He has even been the tooth fairy and Babe Ruth. Twice.
Despite his consistent appearances in TV and the silver screen, not much is known about the real Art LaFluer. Well that's about ta change:
Art LaFleur was born to a travellin' band of menstral singers back in Gary, Indiana in 1943. Y'all might notice I didn't say minstrel singers. That was not a mistake. Menstral singin' enjoyed a small flash a popularity back in the early forties before little ol' Art came along. After a short period that style of music kinda dried up. Ahem.
Due to this lack of interest, Art's folks moved around a lot, which was tough on the little guy. He learned early that to make friends he had ta come up with interestin' characters, personalities and stories to make new friends. This was the early beginnin' to what would blossom into a long career as a spy for the US government.
That's right. Art LaFleur was a spy.
I was able to obtain several hundred classified government documents thanks ta a Googly search of a couple a Russian websites. Just search fer the phrase "Art LaFleur is a stone cold killin' spy" in Russian. Oh, yeah. Make sures ya use the Old Novgorod dialect or you'll get some weird results about Leonid Brezhnev's time as an eyebrow model fer Avon. That's a story fer another time. A weird one, too.
Anyhow, after a dozen confirmed kills, Art decided a life of danger and intrigue wasn't fer him. So he quit that and went inta acting. Ironically, his first television role was playing a Russian spy on "Rescue From Gilligan's Island".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W7KGRl_ScQ Check out 1:07 into the video - you'll thank me!
This show was broadcast across the world as everyone wanted ta see our favorite seven stranded castaways finally get rescued. When the KGB saw that Art, a known US agent, was portrayin' a Russian spy with such incredible skill and accuracy, it sent things over in Mother Russia into a tizzy.
One thing led to another and eleven short years later, the Berlin Wall fell, taking with it the remnants of Cold War Communism.
That's right. Art LaFluer personally put an end to the Cold War.
Today Art, although aging gracefully, has had to put aside his typical character of some cute chick's Dad or the local high school football coach. Cause after a while that gets kinda creepy-like. But if ya squints a little bit you can still see the guy next door that gives ya mean look fer checkin' out his teenage daughter.
God bless you, Art LaFluer. And Rock On!
Now before you get all bored and see what disgusting stuff is showin' on YouTube, jest wait a ding-dang minute.
You know that I, Cousin Willie, would not bring somethin' like Art Appreciation Month to yer attention unless it was a jaw-droppin', knee-slappin, butt-kickin' good time...Am I right? Oh, you knows I'm right!
Okay then, let's get er started! I know it ain't May yet, but I'm so danged tickled ta get this thang goin' that I can't stand myself!
Who better ta start this thang off than the one and only:
Art LaFleur
What is there ta say about the world's busiest actor. Ol' Art has been in approximately eighty million feature films and television shows and chances are you don't even know his name. But I bet y'all recognize him.
Yup, this is Art LaFluer.
Over the years he has played dads and uncles and grandpas. He's played coaches and sergeants, CIA agents, henchmen, detectives, wardens and neighbors.
He has even been the tooth fairy and Babe Ruth. Twice.
Despite his consistent appearances in TV and the silver screen, not much is known about the real Art LaFluer. Well that's about ta change:
Art LaFleur was born to a travellin' band of menstral singers back in Gary, Indiana in 1943. Y'all might notice I didn't say minstrel singers. That was not a mistake. Menstral singin' enjoyed a small flash a popularity back in the early forties before little ol' Art came along. After a short period that style of music kinda dried up. Ahem.
Due to this lack of interest, Art's folks moved around a lot, which was tough on the little guy. He learned early that to make friends he had ta come up with interestin' characters, personalities and stories to make new friends. This was the early beginnin' to what would blossom into a long career as a spy for the US government.
That's right. Art LaFleur was a spy.
I was able to obtain several hundred classified government documents thanks ta a Googly search of a couple a Russian websites. Just search fer the phrase "Art LaFleur is a stone cold killin' spy" in Russian. Oh, yeah. Make sures ya use the Old Novgorod dialect or you'll get some weird results about Leonid Brezhnev's time as an eyebrow model fer Avon. That's a story fer another time. A weird one, too.
Anyhow, after a dozen confirmed kills, Art decided a life of danger and intrigue wasn't fer him. So he quit that and went inta acting. Ironically, his first television role was playing a Russian spy on "Rescue From Gilligan's Island".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W7KGRl_ScQ Check out 1:07 into the video - you'll thank me!
This show was broadcast across the world as everyone wanted ta see our favorite seven stranded castaways finally get rescued. When the KGB saw that Art, a known US agent, was portrayin' a Russian spy with such incredible skill and accuracy, it sent things over in Mother Russia into a tizzy.
One thing led to another and eleven short years later, the Berlin Wall fell, taking with it the remnants of Cold War Communism.
That's right. Art LaFluer personally put an end to the Cold War.
Today Art, although aging gracefully, has had to put aside his typical character of some cute chick's Dad or the local high school football coach. Cause after a while that gets kinda creepy-like. But if ya squints a little bit you can still see the guy next door that gives ya mean look fer checkin' out his teenage daughter.
God bless you, Art LaFluer. And Rock On!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Ask Cousin Willie - George from NY wants to know about the world's biggest problem
Ask Cousin Willie: George from New York has a question for Cousin Willie.
Dear Cousin Willie,
What would you say is the biggest problem facing the world today? Is it over-population, nuclear arms, global warming or something less obvious?
Best wishes,
George from a quiet farm in upstate New York
Dear George from the farm,
That is a very, very good question and you has come to the right Willie ta solve it!
Over-population? Sure, it's a drag havin' ta spend so much time waitin' in line fer everythin', but let's think this out...A bigger population means what? That's right. More women. And if three years a remedial math taught me nothin' it's that more women means a bigger chance a scorin' fer guys like you an me.
Nuclear arms? I'm assumin' you ain't talkin' about the big guns under these here flannel sleeves, are ya? Are ya? 'Cause it's entirely possible. However, I assume yer referrin' to the threat a imminent atomic destruction.
Well, if nothin' else, it solve the over-population problem, don't it? Let's just hope that all them bombs miss you, me and all them extra women.
Global warming? If you've been payin' any attention at all then yer right here with me: Lots a extra women, way fewer men, the fear of nuclear annihilation and now an excuse fer the remainin' women ta wear skimpier clothes. George, I don't see the downside of any of this ta you and me, buddy.
No, the world is facing a much, much bigger crisis today than any a them: Zombies.
That's right, them poor-dressin', brain eatin', moanin-up-a-storm slackers are everywhere.
In fact, just recently Michelle Obama...or as I like ta calls her, the Hottie-in-Chief, visited the country of Haiti, where, as you can see from this news photo, she was immediately set upon by small children zombies. AP photo by Brennan Linsley - who is probably not a zombie.
Sure children zombies is cute and they don't likely eat much, but really...what in tarnation was them Secret Service guys doin' while this was goin' on?
Fortunately I happen to know from experience that Miss Michelle is quite capable of takin' care of herself when it come to close-quarters hand-ta-hand combat, especially when it involves gropin' and bitin'. That's probably a story best left fer another day, though.
So what are we, as non-zombie citizens of this earth (mostly), gonna do about this zombie problem?
I would like ta propose the followin' three step process:
1. Quit feedin' the suckers. I know, I know it sounds simple but theys an awful lot a people goin' round town with absolutely no head protection at all! You might be surprised ta learn what a nice full head a mullet hair and a ball cap will do fer turnin' aside the unwanted attentions a the undead. Dang ol' zombies can chew on me fer twenty minutes before they reach brain and you can take that to the bank.
2. Identify the zombies. How can you avoid or get rid a zombies when you don't know what they look like? Here are some examples a people known ta be zombies that might surprise y'all:
Pee-Wee Herman - Okay, probably not all that surprisin' in some cases.
Nichole Kidman - Huh. She can chew on me any ol' time. Kinda explains the whole Tom Cruise thang, though don't it?
Mickey Rourke - He only recently become zombie-fied. I think they gots ta him somewhere after Sin City and before the Wrestler.
Dick Clark - Contrary ta popular opinion Dick Clark is not a member of the zombie undead. He's just a regular undead. Big difference.
3. Round 'em up and lock 'em up. I know a lot a you favors the shotgun solution when it comes ta zombies, but it's messy, noisy, time-consumin' and uses up bullets that could be better spent shootin' critters that we can then eat.
I think a better solution is ta round up all the zombies, stick 'em some place safe where they won't get inta nothin' and then use 'em when we need 'em. Where you ask? Unfortunately I think my backyard shed is a bit too small...what d'ya say about Hollywood? It's big enough, conveniently located and frankly, I doubts that anyone would even notice any zombie-related shenanigans.
What would we use 'em for?
Now I'm just spit-ballin' here, but what red-blooded American wouldn't pay good money ta see Zombie football? And I got two words for ya: zombie. porn. Nuff said? Yup, thought so.
So, in summary, George, I think I've laid out a workin' plan. And all good plans needs them a code name. I recommend Operation Zombie, er OZ fer short.
As leader I'll go by the code name a Wizard, 'cause I think y'all know where I'm goin' with this. Ater all, Dorothy's Auntie Em? A zombie.
This here's the Wizard, signin' off ta OZ with a big ol' Rock On!
Dear Cousin Willie,
What would you say is the biggest problem facing the world today? Is it over-population, nuclear arms, global warming or something less obvious?
Best wishes,
George from a quiet farm in upstate New York
Dear George from the farm,
That is a very, very good question and you has come to the right Willie ta solve it!
Over-population? Sure, it's a drag havin' ta spend so much time waitin' in line fer everythin', but let's think this out...A bigger population means what? That's right. More women. And if three years a remedial math taught me nothin' it's that more women means a bigger chance a scorin' fer guys like you an me.
Nuclear arms? I'm assumin' you ain't talkin' about the big guns under these here flannel sleeves, are ya? Are ya? 'Cause it's entirely possible. However, I assume yer referrin' to the threat a imminent atomic destruction.
Well, if nothin' else, it solve the over-population problem, don't it? Let's just hope that all them bombs miss you, me and all them extra women.
Global warming? If you've been payin' any attention at all then yer right here with me: Lots a extra women, way fewer men, the fear of nuclear annihilation and now an excuse fer the remainin' women ta wear skimpier clothes. George, I don't see the downside of any of this ta you and me, buddy.
No, the world is facing a much, much bigger crisis today than any a them: Zombies.
That's right, them poor-dressin', brain eatin', moanin-up-a-storm slackers are everywhere.
Sure children zombies is cute and they don't likely eat much, but really...what in tarnation was them Secret Service guys doin' while this was goin' on?
Fortunately I happen to know from experience that Miss Michelle is quite capable of takin' care of herself when it come to close-quarters hand-ta-hand combat, especially when it involves gropin' and bitin'. That's probably a story best left fer another day, though.
So what are we, as non-zombie citizens of this earth (mostly), gonna do about this zombie problem?
I would like ta propose the followin' three step process:
1. Quit feedin' the suckers. I know, I know it sounds simple but theys an awful lot a people goin' round town with absolutely no head protection at all! You might be surprised ta learn what a nice full head a mullet hair and a ball cap will do fer turnin' aside the unwanted attentions a the undead. Dang ol' zombies can chew on me fer twenty minutes before they reach brain and you can take that to the bank.
2. Identify the zombies. How can you avoid or get rid a zombies when you don't know what they look like? Here are some examples a people known ta be zombies that might surprise y'all:
Nichole Kidman - Huh. She can chew on me any ol' time. Kinda explains the whole Tom Cruise thang, though don't it?
Mickey Rourke - He only recently become zombie-fied. I think they gots ta him somewhere after Sin City and before the Wrestler.
Dick Clark - Contrary ta popular opinion Dick Clark is not a member of the zombie undead. He's just a regular undead. Big difference.
3. Round 'em up and lock 'em up. I know a lot a you favors the shotgun solution when it comes ta zombies, but it's messy, noisy, time-consumin' and uses up bullets that could be better spent shootin' critters that we can then eat.
I think a better solution is ta round up all the zombies, stick 'em some place safe where they won't get inta nothin' and then use 'em when we need 'em. Where you ask? Unfortunately I think my backyard shed is a bit too small...what d'ya say about Hollywood? It's big enough, conveniently located and frankly, I doubts that anyone would even notice any zombie-related shenanigans.
What would we use 'em for?
Now I'm just spit-ballin' here, but what red-blooded American wouldn't pay good money ta see Zombie football? And I got two words for ya: zombie. porn. Nuff said? Yup, thought so.
So, in summary, George, I think I've laid out a workin' plan. And all good plans needs them a code name. I recommend Operation Zombie, er OZ fer short.
As leader I'll go by the code name a Wizard, 'cause I think y'all know where I'm goin' with this. Ater all, Dorothy's Auntie Em? A zombie.
This here's the Wizard, signin' off ta OZ with a big ol' Rock On!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
What I likes about Spring
1. The young gals are startin' ta dress less. A course so do the old ones, but no season is perfect.
2. Watchin' the grass grow like crazy! Mainly 'cause I likes ta see my dumb ol' neighbor Lester workin' his fool butt off. Heck, I'll spend half the day sittin' out back on the warsher, drinkin' a brew and watchin' Lester sweat.
3. Not mowin' my crazy high grass. 'Cause I'm busy doin' the whole dislikin' Lester thang and it seems ta drive him nuts.
4. New Spring fashions! This time of year I change out my old flannel shirt and underdrawers with a fresh set. Whether I need to er not.
5. Baseball starts up! Listenin' ta the game gives me a built in somethin' ta do when I'm out in the yard drinkin' beer and laughin' at Lester.
6. Hot tubbin'! The water in the rain barrel ain't quite as nippy this time a year. Fer the more festive occasions I'll heat it up a notch with the ass-etylene torch an' drag the ol' TV out fer re-runs a Dukes of Hazzard. Good times!
2. Watchin' the grass grow like crazy! Mainly 'cause I likes ta see my dumb ol' neighbor Lester workin' his fool butt off. Heck, I'll spend half the day sittin' out back on the warsher, drinkin' a brew and watchin' Lester sweat.
3. Not mowin' my crazy high grass. 'Cause I'm busy doin' the whole dislikin' Lester thang and it seems ta drive him nuts.
4. New Spring fashions! This time of year I change out my old flannel shirt and underdrawers with a fresh set. Whether I need to er not.
5. Baseball starts up! Listenin' ta the game gives me a built in somethin' ta do when I'm out in the yard drinkin' beer and laughin' at Lester.
6. Hot tubbin'! The water in the rain barrel ain't quite as nippy this time a year. Fer the more festive occasions I'll heat it up a notch with the ass-etylene torch an' drag the ol' TV out fer re-runs a Dukes of Hazzard. Good times!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
the Redneck Bachelor continues!
Great news, y'all! All that missin' camera equipment managed to turn itself up. What it was doin' in the back of my shed under all them tarps I will never know.
Anyway, as most of y'all saw, this week's episode commenced with the ever-popular pie eatin' competition!
Nothin' like seein' six of prettiest gals around shovel through a table full of good ol' pies.
The first to finish was Peggy Lou, though she was quickly disqualified fer ralphing half of 'em back up a few minutes later. Rules is rules, y'know.
That left our true winner to be Brenda. She's the one with that tattoo that the TV folks keep blurrin' out. As the big winner, Brenda got ta have the special romancin' date with me at the Outback Steak House.
I ain't gonna lie ta ya, folks. Things got pretty crazy that night. I went with the tater skins and the Bloomin' Onion. Yup...it was a special kinda night, y'all!
Stay tuned fer next episode when I take three lucky ladies to the dentist!
Rock on!
Anyway, as most of y'all saw, this week's episode commenced with the ever-popular pie eatin' competition!
Nothin' like seein' six of prettiest gals around shovel through a table full of good ol' pies.
The first to finish was Peggy Lou, though she was quickly disqualified fer ralphing half of 'em back up a few minutes later. Rules is rules, y'know.
That left our true winner to be Brenda. She's the one with that tattoo that the TV folks keep blurrin' out. As the big winner, Brenda got ta have the special romancin' date with me at the Outback Steak House.
I ain't gonna lie ta ya, folks. Things got pretty crazy that night. I went with the tater skins and the Bloomin' Onion. Yup...it was a special kinda night, y'all!
Stay tuned fer next episode when I take three lucky ladies to the dentist!
Rock on!
Ask Cousin Willie: Dave from Dayton thinks Cousin Willie could use some help
Dear Cousin Willie,
I've been studying your blog site for some time and I feel it necessary to point out that it is rather pedestrian. With the ample selection of Web 2.0 technologies so readily available why don't you invest in a technology upgrade and move your website into the 21st century?
Technologically unimpressed,
Dave from Dayton
Dear Dave,
First of all I don't even own a horse, so please don't accuse me of pedestrianism. Secondly, I kinda like your suggestion. Maybe it is time for a web site upgrade.
The only problem is I have no idea what a web site is and anyway I don't especially like spiders.
Speakin' of which, you seem like a smart fellow..can you tell me how to get some man channels on this computer thing? All I can get it to do is pop the beer holder thing in and out and click on buttons to make the big Googly box go away.
After three weeks of no NASCAR and no Go Daddy commercials I'm startin' to think the guy that sold me this thing ripped me off!
Rock on in t3chn0L0gy!
Cousin Willie
I've been studying your blog site for some time and I feel it necessary to point out that it is rather pedestrian. With the ample selection of Web 2.0 technologies so readily available why don't you invest in a technology upgrade and move your website into the 21st century?
Technologically unimpressed,
Dave from Dayton
Dear Dave,
First of all I don't even own a horse, so please don't accuse me of pedestrianism. Secondly, I kinda like your suggestion. Maybe it is time for a web site upgrade.
The only problem is I have no idea what a web site is and anyway I don't especially like spiders.
Speakin' of which, you seem like a smart fellow..can you tell me how to get some man channels on this computer thing? All I can get it to do is pop the beer holder thing in and out and click on buttons to make the big Googly box go away.
After three weeks of no NASCAR and no Go Daddy commercials I'm startin' to think the guy that sold me this thing ripped me off!
Rock on in t3chn0L0gy!
Cousin Willie
Friday, March 19, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Cousin Willie and the Art of Breakin' Up
Cousin Willie explains how he has managed to stay single for so long
Friday, February 19, 2010
Ask Cousin Willie: Sally from Seattle needs some help for her son
Dear Cousin Willie,
I'm concerned about my youngest son, Milford. He has always been a straight-A student, a courteous young gentleman and my pride and joy. Now he's lost all interest in school, he's hanging out with some really seedy characters and spends all day on the Internet looking at porn!!
He has a real chance to get a scholarship to a good school but only if he gets his act together.
What do I do?
Sally from Seattle
Dear Sally,
I've known many, many people like Milford in my life and I must admit that I hated every one of them. Showin' off all they good manners and excusin' theyselves after they break wind and the like...it makes the rest of us look bad! Was his daddy English or somethin'?
I suspect that after spendin' some time with these "seedy characters" you'll see yer son in a better light. Especially after he gets outta prison and rehab and all. Nowhere to go but up from there, I always say...
Wait one gosh-darned minute. The Internet has porn!?! When did this happen and why hasn't nobody told me?
I'll be right back.
I'm concerned about my youngest son, Milford. He has always been a straight-A student, a courteous young gentleman and my pride and joy. Now he's lost all interest in school, he's hanging out with some really seedy characters and spends all day on the Internet looking at porn!!
He has a real chance to get a scholarship to a good school but only if he gets his act together.
What do I do?
Sally from Seattle
Dear Sally,
I've known many, many people like Milford in my life and I must admit that I hated every one of them. Showin' off all they good manners and excusin' theyselves after they break wind and the like...it makes the rest of us look bad! Was his daddy English or somethin'?
I suspect that after spendin' some time with these "seedy characters" you'll see yer son in a better light. Especially after he gets outta prison and rehab and all. Nowhere to go but up from there, I always say...
Wait one gosh-darned minute. The Internet has porn!?! When did this happen and why hasn't nobody told me?
I'll be right back.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bode in Vancouver asks Cousin Willie if he should change his image
Dear Cousin Willie,
Well I missed gold at the Olympics again. I just don't get it. What kind of world do we live in where a guy can't party all night, show up on time and not beat the rest of the field? Willie, my man, you of all people should understand my pain.
What can I do get my groove back? Should I take it on the straight and narrow and give up my playboy ways?
Bode from N.H. but stuck in Vancouver
Dear Bode,
It is indeed a tragedy of Greek proportions that major party hounds like the two of us gots to explain why we likes to party. It is not only our right as big time studs to ROCK ON but I say it is our duty! So if I hear any more talk about you slowin' down I will personally come over and kick your ski-suited butt.
While I got yer attention, maybe you can explain a few things about winter Olmpicanin'...
Do they let regular guys like us in the biathlon or is it only for the...you know...undecided folk?
What is a Nordic and why do people want to jump over it? Is it like one a them furry elephants?
Why would anyone want to do Snowboring? That can't be no fun at all and probably won't get you no chicks.
I think I would rock it at the Luge. I can spit like nobody's bidness.
Why would any guy admit that he was into Curling? Might as well sign up for Baking...at least then you can make yerself somethin' to eat when you gots no women to come over and do it for ya.
And speed skating?!? I thought they drug tested you guys!
Well anyway, best of luck with the partyin'. If you need help with any of them cute figger skaters you know who to call.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
Well I missed gold at the Olympics again. I just don't get it. What kind of world do we live in where a guy can't party all night, show up on time and not beat the rest of the field? Willie, my man, you of all people should understand my pain.
What can I do get my groove back? Should I take it on the straight and narrow and give up my playboy ways?
Bode from N.H. but stuck in Vancouver
Dear Bode,
It is indeed a tragedy of Greek proportions that major party hounds like the two of us gots to explain why we likes to party. It is not only our right as big time studs to ROCK ON but I say it is our duty! So if I hear any more talk about you slowin' down I will personally come over and kick your ski-suited butt.
While I got yer attention, maybe you can explain a few things about winter Olmpicanin'...
Do they let regular guys like us in the biathlon or is it only for the...you know...undecided folk?
What is a Nordic and why do people want to jump over it? Is it like one a them furry elephants?
Why would anyone want to do Snowboring? That can't be no fun at all and probably won't get you no chicks.
I think I would rock it at the Luge. I can spit like nobody's bidness.
Why would any guy admit that he was into Curling? Might as well sign up for Baking...at least then you can make yerself somethin' to eat when you gots no women to come over and do it for ya.
And speed skating?!? I thought they drug tested you guys!
Well anyway, best of luck with the partyin'. If you need help with any of them cute figger skaters you know who to call.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Ask Cousin Willie: B.O. from D.C. needs some advice from Cousin Willie
Dear Cousin Willie,
Lately I've grown disenchanted with my job. It seemed like a wonderful opportunity when I took it, but things have really gone downhill since then. No matter what I try to do I can't seem to make anyone happy. Do you have any advice? By the way, in honor of President's Day, who's you favorite leader of the free world?
Best wishes,
B.O. in D.C.
Dear B.O.
I hear ya, brother. Your particular plight reminds me of my high school days when I was in charge of the corner Drink-N-Drive. All my buddies would come by hopin' to get some free beer just 'cause they knew me. And my boss wasn't too keen on me givin' away the beer. What was a poor redneck boy to do?
Much like King Salmon of the Bible I came up with a solution: I drank every last beer myself. That way it wasn't around to tempt nobody into doin' somethin' they wouldn't be happy with.
So my advice to you is find out where your boss keeps all the beer, drink it, and bam! Problem solved.
And to answer yer last question, I have always been fond of President Clinton mostly on account of him havin' that alter ego Slick Willie that I can identify with.
I likes me George Warshington cause we both have some teeth problems.
James K. Polk 'cause his name makes me giggle.
Grover Cleveland 'cause I likes Sesame Street.
Abe Lincoln 'cause I feel sorry for his unfortunate hair style.
Richard Milhous Nixon 'cause he was named after that kid from the Simpsons.
James Madison 'cause of his wife's pies.
But mostly Rutherford B. Hayes and Teddy Roosevelt, 'cause you know that with names like Rutherford and Teddy they had to be tough ol' SOBs.
Good luck with yer job and make sure to lock the door 'til the beer is all gone.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
Lately I've grown disenchanted with my job. It seemed like a wonderful opportunity when I took it, but things have really gone downhill since then. No matter what I try to do I can't seem to make anyone happy. Do you have any advice? By the way, in honor of President's Day, who's you favorite leader of the free world?
Best wishes,
B.O. in D.C.
Dear B.O.
I hear ya, brother. Your particular plight reminds me of my high school days when I was in charge of the corner Drink-N-Drive. All my buddies would come by hopin' to get some free beer just 'cause they knew me. And my boss wasn't too keen on me givin' away the beer. What was a poor redneck boy to do?
Much like King Salmon of the Bible I came up with a solution: I drank every last beer myself. That way it wasn't around to tempt nobody into doin' somethin' they wouldn't be happy with.
So my advice to you is find out where your boss keeps all the beer, drink it, and bam! Problem solved.
And to answer yer last question, I have always been fond of President Clinton mostly on account of him havin' that alter ego Slick Willie that I can identify with.
I likes me George Warshington cause we both have some teeth problems.
James K. Polk 'cause his name makes me giggle.
Grover Cleveland 'cause I likes Sesame Street.
Abe Lincoln 'cause I feel sorry for his unfortunate hair style.
Richard Milhous Nixon 'cause he was named after that kid from the Simpsons.
James Madison 'cause of his wife's pies.
But mostly Rutherford B. Hayes and Teddy Roosevelt, 'cause you know that with names like Rutherford and Teddy they had to be tough ol' SOBs.
Good luck with yer job and make sure to lock the door 'til the beer is all gone.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
Friday, February 12, 2010
Ask Cousin Willie: Tofer in San Diego mourns a lost hero
Dear Cousin Willie,
I was grief-stricken to learn of the death of Walter Morrison the inventor of the Frisbee, the greatest recreational device in American history. Many are the summers that I would spend on the beach spinning my discs and soaking in the sun. I am totally bummed. You got anything to cheer me up?
Tofer in San Diego
Dear Tofer,
I share your sadness at the passing of this great old coot. The Frisbee is one of the greatest American inventions of all time, right behind the pickup truck, the pump action shotgun and the Dukes of Hazzard. The best part of a Frisbee is you can use it for so many things:
A pan for catchin' oil from a leak in your truck
A hat for when it's rainin'
A surprisingly good contraceptive (don't even ask)
Somethin' to hold your marbles
and, in a pinch, a container that holds approximately 14.75 ounces of beer
The world is a lesser place fer his passing.
Rock on in sorrow,
Cousin Willie
I was grief-stricken to learn of the death of Walter Morrison the inventor of the Frisbee, the greatest recreational device in American history. Many are the summers that I would spend on the beach spinning my discs and soaking in the sun. I am totally bummed. You got anything to cheer me up?
Tofer in San Diego
Dear Tofer,
I share your sadness at the passing of this great old coot. The Frisbee is one of the greatest American inventions of all time, right behind the pickup truck, the pump action shotgun and the Dukes of Hazzard. The best part of a Frisbee is you can use it for so many things:
A pan for catchin' oil from a leak in your truck
A hat for when it's rainin'
A surprisingly good contraceptive (don't even ask)
Somethin' to hold your marbles
and, in a pinch, a container that holds approximately 14.75 ounces of beer
The world is a lesser place fer his passing.
Rock on in sorrow,
Cousin Willie
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Ask Cousin Willie: Drew from the Big Easy has a case of the Willies!
Dear Cousin Willie,
I'm a big-time sports guy and I've got a huge game coming up soon. I've played in some big games before, but nothing like this. I've never been this nervous. Any advice?
Drew from the Big Easy
Dear Drew,
You may not know it to watch me on the TV, but I have always been afraid of appearin' on camera. Ever since I found out that the camera adds ten pounds I had it written in my Redneck Bachelor contract that they couldn't point more than two of 'em on me at one time. I've never been much of a dieter.
I was so worked up before the pilot episode of the Redneck Bachelor that I spent most of the morning throwing up. Course that may have had as much to do with the Cheetos and hot wings and the eighteen pack of the Beast I had the night afore as anything else. Well, whatever...if I ain't learnt nothin' else, it's that nothin' solves problems better than applyin' more beer.
So you downs you a twelve pack of yer favorite brew and go do yer thing! If it don't work out...it's cause you were drunk! What'd everyone expect?!?
Throw hard, run fast and rock on!
Cousin Willie
I'm a big-time sports guy and I've got a huge game coming up soon. I've played in some big games before, but nothing like this. I've never been this nervous. Any advice?
Drew from the Big Easy
Dear Drew,
You may not know it to watch me on the TV, but I have always been afraid of appearin' on camera. Ever since I found out that the camera adds ten pounds I had it written in my Redneck Bachelor contract that they couldn't point more than two of 'em on me at one time. I've never been much of a dieter.
I was so worked up before the pilot episode of the Redneck Bachelor that I spent most of the morning throwing up. Course that may have had as much to do with the Cheetos and hot wings and the eighteen pack of the Beast I had the night afore as anything else. Well, whatever...if I ain't learnt nothin' else, it's that nothin' solves problems better than applyin' more beer.
So you downs you a twelve pack of yer favorite brew and go do yer thing! If it don't work out...it's cause you were drunk! What'd everyone expect?!?
Throw hard, run fast and rock on!
Cousin Willie
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Ask Willie: Ping from Beijing
Cousin Willie,
你是一個超級大英雄，今天在北京舉行，我們愛你長的時間！自從你破壞褲子，唱的視頻更大的羞辱威廉黃星政府禁令，你極壞的東西。怎麼辦，沒有更多的表弟威利和觀念保守，沒有結婚？
Ping 北京
Dear Ping,
What in the hell are you even talking about?!? I used one a them fancy Googly translation things to read yer question. This is what it said:
Dear Cousin Willie,
You are super big hero here in Beijing and we love you long time! Ever since you destroy pants and sing on video disgracing even bigger star William Huang government ban you very bad stuff.
What to do with no more Cousin Willie and Redneck with no Marriage?
With horrifying gratitude,
Ping in Beijing
Well, Ping, I know just what you mean. I used to have a favorite pizza joint named Spazzo's. A few months back ol' Papa Spazzo got his place shut down when the police found out he was using the local stray cat population to make his special sausage. Man, I miss that pizza.
Anyway, never fear. Even as we speak I am composing a special letter to whatever government you is from explaining the situation. If the Googly translator is half as good at splainin' my side of things as it did with yer note, then I don't think you got a thing to worry about.
Just in case, I will be sending along some of my latest Cousin Willie wear. They is a set of boxer shorts with the phrase "You in good hands with Willie" on the back. Nothin' but class.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
你是一個超級大英雄，今天在北京舉行，我們愛你長的時間！自從你破壞褲子，唱的視頻更大的羞辱威廉黃星政府禁令，你極壞的東西。怎麼辦，沒有更多的表弟威利和觀念保守，沒有結婚？
Ping 北京
Dear Ping,
What in the hell are you even talking about?!? I used one a them fancy Googly translation things to read yer question. This is what it said:
Dear Cousin Willie,
You are super big hero here in Beijing and we love you long time! Ever since you destroy pants and sing on video disgracing even bigger star William Huang government ban you very bad stuff.
What to do with no more Cousin Willie and Redneck with no Marriage?
With horrifying gratitude,
Ping in Beijing
Well, Ping, I know just what you mean. I used to have a favorite pizza joint named Spazzo's. A few months back ol' Papa Spazzo got his place shut down when the police found out he was using the local stray cat population to make his special sausage. Man, I miss that pizza.
Anyway, never fear. Even as we speak I am composing a special letter to whatever government you is from explaining the situation. If the Googly translator is half as good at splainin' my side of things as it did with yer note, then I don't think you got a thing to worry about.
Just in case, I will be sending along some of my latest Cousin Willie wear. They is a set of boxer shorts with the phrase "You in good hands with Willie" on the back. Nothin' but class.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Ask Cousin Willie: Buzzed in Boise wonders "the beer or the lady?"
Dear Cousin Willie,
I've been watching that commercial where the guy has his girlfriend ask him who he'd choose between saving his beer and saving her life, and when he doesn't answer right away she gets mad and stomps off.
Have you ever been in that situation?
Buzzed in Boise
Dear Buzzed,
I am appalled that you would even ask me such a question! Of course I been in that situation. In fact, many is the time that I have had to choose between my beer and my lady. And it might surprise you to learn that I choose the lady every time. Let me 'splain.
Women are much better able to withstand the rigors of a dangerous situation. An open beer is not. An example, you ask?
Hanging over a cliff: Woman? Tousled but okay. Beer? Spilt.
Runaway automobile: Woman? Dazed but still able to go out for a night of dining and romance. Beer? Spilt.
Mugger: Woman? Upset and no longer able to pay fer dinner, but still able to go to the ATM. Beer? Spilt or stolen.
Bear attack: Woman? Maybe a little clawed up, but basically serviceable. Beer? Spilt and maybe even drunk by the bear.
Nuclear explosion: Well, I gotta admit that there ain't too many winners in that example, but I gotta lean toward the woman again cause she mights get some special radiation powers like being able to clean things up with her mind or cook dinner just by touching it. Plus the remote possibility of super-enhanced woman parts.
Anyway, try to keep yer priorities straight when faced with difficult situations like those above and don't open yer beer until you have to.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
I've been watching that commercial where the guy has his girlfriend ask him who he'd choose between saving his beer and saving her life, and when he doesn't answer right away she gets mad and stomps off.
Have you ever been in that situation?
Buzzed in Boise
Dear Buzzed,
I am appalled that you would even ask me such a question! Of course I been in that situation. In fact, many is the time that I have had to choose between my beer and my lady. And it might surprise you to learn that I choose the lady every time. Let me 'splain.
Women are much better able to withstand the rigors of a dangerous situation. An open beer is not. An example, you ask?
Hanging over a cliff: Woman? Tousled but okay. Beer? Spilt.
Runaway automobile: Woman? Dazed but still able to go out for a night of dining and romance. Beer? Spilt.
Mugger: Woman? Upset and no longer able to pay fer dinner, but still able to go to the ATM. Beer? Spilt or stolen.
Bear attack: Woman? Maybe a little clawed up, but basically serviceable. Beer? Spilt and maybe even drunk by the bear.
Nuclear explosion: Well, I gotta admit that there ain't too many winners in that example, but I gotta lean toward the woman again cause she mights get some special radiation powers like being able to clean things up with her mind or cook dinner just by touching it. Plus the remote possibility of super-enhanced woman parts.
Anyway, try to keep yer priorities straight when faced with difficult situations like those above and don't open yer beer until you have to.
Rock on!
Cousin Willie
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Ask Cousin Willie!
Unfortunately the Redneck Bachelor is on hiatus while the producers sort through some legal issues. Evidently several thousand dollars worth of video equipment was "voted off" of the show around the time that Patty Sue was eliminated from the competition.
The network is not alleging a connection between Patty Sue's departure and the disappearance of the equipment. It is worthy of note, however, that Patty Sue was recently spotted with several "enhancements" that Cousin Willie assures me would have left her in good standing with the remaining bachelorettes.
Nevertheless, the police continue their investigation.
In the meantime, Cousin Willie has graciously agreed to answer emails from his many fans who are searching for help on their journey of life. I wish them the best of luck.
Anyway, here is the first installment of "Ask Cousin Willie".
Dear Cousin Willie:
I need some advice. My girlfriend recently left me in order to follow the AC/DC reunion tour across the United States. I'm not sure I can live without her. I miss her smell, the way she looked at me...I even miss her cooking. What do I do? I feel like a total loser!
Busted heart in Tallahassee
Dear Busted,
First of all, AC/DC rocks! When you talkin' about something that rocks at the level that AC/DC rocks...well you just throw out the rule book. I remember the first time I saw AC/DC in concert. There were a lot of other chicks who left they boyfriends there, too. I must've talked to all of 'em. So you ain't a total loser. You just a regular loser like all them other guys.
My advice to you is this. Go to an upcoming AC/DC concert. Find yer girlfriend. When you see how happy she is rockin' out to a great band like AC/DC you won't feel so bad! After that go outside and find some poor gal who left her boyfriend to watch AC/DC tour but couldn't afford to get in. She'll probably go out with ya. Especially if you bought a concert tour T-Shirt.
Rock On!
Cousin Willie
The network is not alleging a connection between Patty Sue's departure and the disappearance of the equipment. It is worthy of note, however, that Patty Sue was recently spotted with several "enhancements" that Cousin Willie assures me would have left her in good standing with the remaining bachelorettes.
Nevertheless, the police continue their investigation.
In the meantime, Cousin Willie has graciously agreed to answer emails from his many fans who are searching for help on their journey of life. I wish them the best of luck.
Anyway, here is the first installment of "Ask Cousin Willie".
Dear Cousin Willie:
I need some advice. My girlfriend recently left me in order to follow the AC/DC reunion tour across the United States. I'm not sure I can live without her. I miss her smell, the way she looked at me...I even miss her cooking. What do I do? I feel like a total loser!
Busted heart in Tallahassee
Dear Busted,
First of all, AC/DC rocks! When you talkin' about something that rocks at the level that AC/DC rocks...well you just throw out the rule book. I remember the first time I saw AC/DC in concert. There were a lot of other chicks who left they boyfriends there, too. I must've talked to all of 'em. So you ain't a total loser. You just a regular loser like all them other guys.
My advice to you is this. Go to an upcoming AC/DC concert. Find yer girlfriend. When you see how happy she is rockin' out to a great band like AC/DC you won't feel so bad! After that go outside and find some poor gal who left her boyfriend to watch AC/DC tour but couldn't afford to get in. She'll probably go out with ya. Especially if you bought a concert tour T-Shirt.
Rock On!
Cousin Willie
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Redneck Idol: Pants on the Ground
Cousin Willie auditions for the Redneck Idol competition...His song of choice...the now-famous Pants on the Ground!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Cousin Willie's question fer the day:
I know the thumb's fer gettin' a ride, the first one's fer pointin' and pickin', the middle one's fer disagreein' and the third one's fer 'splainin' why you can't have a good time no more...whut in the name of Billy Ray Cyrus is the pinkie fer?
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Cousin Willie's thought fer the day
I wanted to get myself on that Match.com, but all I gots is lighters...
Friday, January 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)