Ask Cousin Willie!

Unfortunately the Redneck Bachelor is on hiatus while the producers sort through some legal issues. Evidently several thousand dollars worth of video equipment was "voted off" of the show around the time that Patty Sue was eliminated from the competition.

The network is not alleging a connection between Patty Sue's departure and the disappearance of the equipment. It is worthy of note, however, that Patty Sue was recently spotted with several "enhancements" that Cousin Willie assures me would have left her in good standing with the remaining bachelorettes.

Nevertheless, the police continue their investigation.

In the meantime, Cousin Willie has graciously agreed to answer emails from his many fans who are searching for help on their journey of life. I wish them the best of luck.

Anyway, here is the first installment of "Ask Cousin Willie".

Dear Cousin Willie:

I need some advice. My girlfriend recently left me in order to follow the AC/DC reunion tour across the United States. I'm not sure I can live without her. I miss her smell, the way she looked at me...I even miss her cooking. What do I do? I feel like a total loser!

Busted heart in Tallahassee



Dear Busted,

First of all, AC/DC rocks! When you talkin' about something that rocks at the level that AC/DC rocks...well you just throw out the rule book. I remember the first time I saw AC/DC in concert. There were a lot of other chicks who left they boyfriends there, too. I must've talked to all of 'em. So you ain't a total loser. You just a regular loser like all them other guys.

My advice to you is this. Go to an upcoming AC/DC concert. Find yer girlfriend. When you see how happy she is rockin' out to a great band like AC/DC you won't feel so bad! After that go outside and find some poor gal who left her boyfriend to watch AC/DC tour but couldn't afford to get in. She'll probably go out with ya. Especially if you bought a concert tour T-Shirt.

Rock On!

Cousin Willie