Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ask Willie: Ping from Beijing

Cousin Willie,

你是一個超級大英雄,今天在北京舉行,我們愛你長的時間!自從你破壞褲子,唱的視頻更大的羞辱威廉黃星政府禁令,你極壞的東西。怎麼辦,沒有更多的表弟威利和觀念保守,沒有結婚?

Ping 北京
 
Dear Ping,

What in the hell are you even talking about?!?  I used one a them fancy Googly translation things to read yer question.  This is what it said:

Dear Cousin Willie,


You are super big hero here in Beijing and we love you long time!  Ever since you destroy pants and sing on video disgracing even bigger star William Huang government ban you very bad stuff.  


What to do with no more Cousin Willie and Redneck with no Marriage?  


With horrifying gratitude,


Ping in Beijing

Well, Ping, I know just what you mean.  I used to have a favorite pizza joint named Spazzo's.  A few months back ol' Papa Spazzo got his place shut down when the police found out he was using the local stray cat population to make his special sausage.  Man, I miss that pizza.

Anyway, never fear.  Even as we speak I am composing a special letter to whatever government you is from explaining the situation.   If the Googly translator is half as good at splainin' my side of things as it did with yer note, then I don't think you got a thing to worry about. 

Just in case, I will be sending along some of my latest Cousin Willie wear.  They is a set of boxer shorts with the phrase "You in good hands with Willie" on the back.  Nothin' but class.

Rock on!

Cousin Willie

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