Dear Cousin Willie,
I'm a big-time sports guy and I've got a huge game coming up soon. I've played in some big games before, but nothing like this. I've never been this nervous. Any advice?
Drew from the Big Easy
Dear Drew,
You may not know it to watch me on the TV, but I have always been afraid of appearin' on camera. Ever since I found out that the camera adds ten pounds I had it written in my Redneck Bachelor contract that they couldn't point more than two of 'em on me at one time. I've never been much of a dieter.
I was so worked up before the pilot episode of the Redneck Bachelor that I spent most of the morning throwing up. Course that may have had as much to do with the Cheetos and hot wings and the eighteen pack of the Beast I had the night afore as anything else. Well, whatever...if I ain't learnt nothin' else, it's that nothin' solves problems better than applyin' more beer.
So you downs you a twelve pack of yer favorite brew and go do yer thing! If it don't work out...it's cause you were drunk! What'd everyone expect?!?
Throw hard, run fast and rock on!
Cousin Willie
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