Art Appreciation Month continues...

With one of the finest Arts in television history:

Art Linkletter

Art Linkletter is probably not knowed to many a you, since he was born afore the dawn of true television.  You know, with cable and all.

Anyway, Art was born in Moose Jaw, Canada, son ta the infamous Sasquatch.  Ol' Sasquatch couldn't do a good job a raisin' no kids on account a all the chasin' around and copyright issues with Bigfoot.

So little Art was adopted to another set of folks who raised Art like he was they own. Once he overcame his fondness fer the taste a human flesh, things settled right down in the Linkletter household.

Art spent most of his life tryin' ta hide his shame at bein' born a Canadian.  He spent countless hours practicin' not sayin "ay?" after every sentence, pretendin' Curlin' made any sense and actin' like Celine Dion ain't all that hot. Although she ain't bad ta look at I gots ta say.

Anyway, at a young age Art took to one a the newest forms a entertainment.  Black and white TV.  Unfortunately race conflict was a big problem back then and the black TV shows and the white TV shows, well they didn't get along too well.

Many people don't know this but fer the longest time the Jeffersons and Good Times couldn't stand ta be on the same network as Little House on the Prairie and the Waltons.  The cultural divide between the urban black shows and the rural cracker shows was just too great.

That's where Art came in.  His famous show Kids Say the Darndest Things was a hit with everybody!  That's cause white TV kids and black TV kids...none of them don't know nothin' and theys always sayin' funny stuff!  This was the shared cultural event that TV needed ta take the unifyin' step ta color television.

And all was right with the TV world, thanks ta Art Linkletter.

Rock On, Art Linkletter!

Art Appreciation Month continues...

Last week I kicked off Art Appreciation Month with a dazzling summary of the great Art LaFleur.  It was met by rave reviews (you know who you are!)

This week I dives inta the music world with one a my favorite Arts:

Art Garfunkel

Art Garfunkel is part of one of the best singer-songwriter duos of all time.  Along with Simon and the rest of the chipmunks Art owns a well-deserved place in music history.

Not many people truly understand the depth and complexity of Art and the Chipmunk's musical genius.  Fortunately, I am here ta enlighten you.

The following is some a Art's best known songs and the amazing stories behind those songs:

Bridge Over Troubled Water - This ain't a story about some warshed up bridge.  Uh uh.  It's a metaphor fer somethin' er other.  Metaphors are like when you try ta say somethin' without actually sayin' it.  Kinda like when women wanna let you know that theys mad atcha.

Kathy's Song - Which was about some chick he was datin'.  Unbeknowst ta him, she was sleepin' around with the rest a them chipmunks.  Gotta keep a close eye on them ground rodents.  They's frisky.

At the Zoo - Which details where Art found out about Kathy and the rest a them 'munks.  I think the monkeys mighta told.

Mrs. Robinson - A song about Art's rebound fling with a married woman.  Nobody's really certain who she is, but they's a lot of speculation that it was Robinson Crusoe's ol' lady.  And that man got a temper.  I guess if I was stuck on some deserted island with Gilligan and the rest a that bunch and then found out my ol' lady was sleepin' around with a guy what spends time with singin' chipmunks I'd be pretty mad, too.  I try not ta judge.

Scarborough Fair/Canticle - Is a song about the damage what Art sustained when Mr. Robinson Crusoe found out about his wife and ol' Art.  Notice that Canticle is in the singular 'cause that's all that poor Art got left with after Crusoe finished with him.  Ouch.

El Condor Pasa - This here's a song about some big, undead, man-eatin'  bird.  I think it inspired Alfred Hitchcock to make that movie...what was it called...dang it I hate when I ferget movie names...Oh yeah!  North By Northwest!

Anyways, the chipmunks soon gots too big fer they britches and decided they could make due without ol' Art.

This was a time a great despair fer Art.  He spent most of it mopin' around and prank callin' people.  He eventually snapped outta his funk by realizin' a dream he had held since he was a young 'un.  To eat a meal at every McDonalds restaurant in the world!  This quest gave new meanin' ta Art's life.  Ya might say he was re-born as Modern Art.  Well, someone needed ta say it.

Unfortunately by the time he finished up with all the McDonalds along the East Coast he weighed about 300 pounds and couldn't so much as stand the sight of another Big Mac or Filet o' Fish.

As fortune would have it, those dang chipmunks had run inta troubles of they own!  Turns out the dumb thangs only live ta be like three.  And the way Theodore was lettin' himself go, well the end was clearly near.  Faced with impendin' death that comes with a heavy nut diet, the Chipmunks reunited with Art fer a big concert in Central Park, New York.

Today Art lives a quiet life, surrounded by his little kiddies and about eighty-five generations a chipmunks.  Not a one a them can sing a lick.

Rock on, Art Garfunkel!