Oprah, Cousin Willie is the innerviewer extraordinaire fer you!

My name is Willie G. Bob, but everybody calls me Cousin Willie.  I think I am uniquely qualified ta be the special host of yer new tee vee show.

I can get all the toughest guests and ask them all the questions everybody wanna hear.  Like what's the quickest way ta get a warm beer ta drinkin' temperature?  And if you was god which celebrity pain in the neck would you snuff out next?

Anyway, when ya wants ta hire me, just give a call ta Chuggie's House a Suds in Buford Ohio...they knows how ta reach me.

Rock on, Oprah Winfrey!

P.S.  Are you still single?  Jest askin' 'cause I've been known ta compromise my morals when needed.  Jest wanted ta put that out there in case you needed a tie breaker er somethin'.